| feeling like we're gold. |
[27 Mar 2006|07:23pm] |
| [ |
music |
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minus the bear |
] |
things are insane(ly good).
(it's like... the comfort of knowing that everyone you care about is at a good place in their life and no more worrying about them and no more worrying about yourself and no more worrying no more worrying because everything is going to be okay.)
(it's like... driving home on the highway at 2 AM and the headlights and the smell of coffee and the music and the cold air and the warm hands and the laughter and you wonder how you ever lived without this and you hate yourself for ever living without this and you are actually HAPPY and its fucking SCARY but nothing else matters.)
(it's like... having the same two best friends since 7th grade and growing up together and being there and realizing that time is running out and it hurts so much to think about but it's supposed to be exciting but remembering the days of matching coats and sleepovers makes you want to break down and cry but you can't go back.)
(it's like... knowing that you are so much better than them because you have found value in things other than money.)
(it's like... not caring what people think.)
what?
yeah, i know.
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[18 Mar 2006|12:20pm] |
you
get
what
you
deserve.
hah.
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[18 Feb 2006|02:54pm] |
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i feel so alive.
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[05 Feb 2006|12:05am] |
| [ |
mood |
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optimistic |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
northstar |
] |
you move me like i've got new feet!
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[27 Dec 2005|05:30pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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peaceful |
] |
| [ |
music |
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copeland |
] |
"it just sort of happens one day one day and it's just gone. And you can never get it back. It's like you get homesick for a place that doesn't exist. I mean it's like this rite of passage, you know. You won't have this feeling again until you create a new idea of home for yourself, you know, for you kids, for the family you start, it's like a cycle or something. I miss the idea of it. Maybe that's all family really is. A group of people who miss the same imaginary place."
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| i'm not in love with delilah, but i DO love this song |
[18 Dec 2005|07:11pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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confused |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
this song=amazing |
] |
hey there delilah
whats it like in new york city
im a thousand miles away
but girl tonight you look so pretty
time square cant shine as bright as you
i swear its true
hey there delilah
dont you worry about the distance
im right there if you get lonely
give this song another listen
close your eyes
listen to my voice its my disguise
im by your side
oh its what you do to me
what you do to me
hey there delilah
i know times are gettin hard
but just believe me girl
someday ill pay the bills with this guitar
we'll have it good
we'll have the life we knew we would
my word is good
hey there delilah
ive got so much left to say
if every simple song i wrote to you
would take your breath away
id write it all
even more in love with me youd fall
we'd have it all
oh its what you do to me
oh its what you do to me
a thousand miles seems pretty far
but they've got planes and trains and cars
id walk to you if i had no other way
our friends would all make fun of us
and we'll just laugh along because we know
that none of them have felt this way
delilah i can promise you
that by the time that we get through
the world will never ever be the same
and youre to blame
hey there delilah
you be good and dont you miss me
two more years and youll be done with school
and ill be makin history like i do
you know its all because of you
we can do whatever we want to
hey there delilah heres to you
this ones for you
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[14 Dec 2005|10:08pm] |
| [ |
music |
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plain white t's |
] |
i stand corrected,
(just because i am the biggest soco fan ever)
konfusion.
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[13 Dec 2005|10:37pm] |
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music |
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jimmy eat world |
] |
confusion.
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| through the night we were waiting for a sign... |
[04 Dec 2005|01:16am] |
| [ |
mood |
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cheerful |
] |
| [ |
music |
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copeland |
] |
its december! its almost christmas! FUCK, I LOVE CHRISTMAS! i love buying people presents! i'm making each of my friends a personalized mix with special songs that will bring back good memories. i already started working on them. i love that kind of stuff. and i'll get them something else too, i just gotta think of something gooood. i wish i had thousands of dollars, so that i could buy them something extremely sweet. they deserve it. well i'm going to Pitt next year. i'd say im about 95% sure of it. i'm super super super excited. i love oakland. i love pittsburgh...well, the city itself. (not wexford so much) and i love the fact that whenever my friends come home for the weekend, i will always be able to see them! and i love the fact that julie will be right down the road at duquesne. and i love the fact that ryan very will be at pitt too. but i hate that he is moving from breezewood. he's been my favorite neighbor since kindergarden:( i love the fact that whenever i want to come home, i can. and whenever i don't want to see my family, i don't have to. you know what bothers me.. people are like, "why do you want to stay in pittsburgh! i want to get out of here and away from my family!" but like, its not like that at all. even though its only a half hour to home, it could be 8 hours and make no difference. it doesnt mean i will be visiting home more often. (even though i probably will, because i love my family x 1000000.) i just really really love the college and campus. i HAVE to be in a city. there's no way i could survive at penn state or other typical college campuses. its GOTTA be a city for ellen. so yes, its very very nice having all the college stresses gone. now i can relax and enjoy my senior year! i love hanging out with more friends now. like laurel and lindsay. its fun to actually have a "group" of friends again. for a while there during the summer, me and sar were just flying solo. but its really really really good to have ashley back. well i mean, she was never gone, but last year i didn't hang out with her that much. that sucked. its nice to be able to hang out with her alll the time now. we were talking the other day and we realized, we have been friends since 7th grade. and that is a fucking LONG time for NA. so yeah, go us. OH HEY, i now have my nose pierced. i am in love with it. it looks pretty damn good, if i do say so myself;) aside from that, same old ellen. i started going to church again. i'm trying really hard to believe again. i lost it there for a while. i'm really trying. and my mom is really happy about that. in other news, some things never go away. not so sure how i feel about that. we'll see.
uhh so yeah basically...
life is excellent.
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[24 Nov 2005|11:18pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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thankful |
] |
| [ |
music |
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copeland |
] |
things that i am thankful for:
everything...
(for as much as i complain i really do like my life.)
-especially my family. the ordons' clan is the most fun ever. i love steve and kev and laur x 100. and my mom is the nicest person EVER. and my dad is just funny as hell. i'm really lucky to have such a happy home life because it sucks so hard for some people.
-and friends that i've had since before birth...like julie.
-and friends that have been rocking my world since 7th grade...like sar and ash.
-music. my music. the soundtrack to my life.
so yeah i'm very due for a major update, i'll try to find the time later this weekend, but i just feel i had to say how lucky i am and how thankful i am for that. and i really wish that some other people could try to see the good in their life, because it really is there.
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| lalalalieeee |
[07 Nov 2005|12:37am] |
| [ |
mood |
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thoughtful |
] |
| [ |
music |
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acceptance |
] |
so basically,
to sum it ALL up
i have TERRIBLE luck with boys.
and i'd really like for that to change soon
and meet a NICE boy for once.
haha yeah i'm done.
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| lalalalife |
[28 Aug 2005|11:51pm] |
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mood |
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peaceful |
] |
| [ |
music |
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weezer, bitches. |
] |
Everything is good right now.
Excellent, in fact.
Minus the fact that summer is basically over, i am rather satisfied with my life at the moment.
And that is a big deal.
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[14 Jul 2005|12:08am] |
| [ |
mood |
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lonely |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
action action! |
] |
make it do the talking for you...
make it something that everyone will call a statement,
but you'll just call a random tuesday.
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[11 Jul 2005|09:12am] |
| [ |
mood |
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sunburnt. |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
anberlin |
] |
we have fun together.
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| haha im so done with boyssss |
[04 Jun 2005|04:22pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
okay actually |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
copleand !!!!!!!! |
] |
when all is said and done i know he is right and we are better off as friends. and im alright with that, seriously. its been a fun two monthes, but it never would have worked over the summer. something just was missing.
BUT this is definatly not going to change my extremely positive outlook on life that i have been having lately. especially cause its almost summmmer and its going to be a good one, i can feeeeel it...
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[22 May 2005|10:10pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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amazing |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
bloc party |
] |
it's good to be back.
so fucking good.
and no, i didn't go anywhere.
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| and you know when it rains in this town i get washed away without a sound |
[27 Mar 2005|02:18pm] |
things are really just so much better now.
so much to look forward to and be happy about.
i love my family:
&and i fixed everything with my sissy and were like best friends again and her wedding shower was yesterday and she is so cute and i love her. and the wedding is coming soon, and the bridesmaids dresses came in. and theyre beautiful. but i have to get mine altered cause i lost a decent amount of weight since november(shh my mom would kill me if she found out) when we got them fitted.everythings good with the dads job and i definately WONT be moving away from P-burgh anytime soon like i thought i would. this morning we were finding our easter baskets and then the front door opened and it was stevie! he surprisededed us and came home! i was so happy to see him and i started to cry just because it was so perfect like in a movie and he came at just the right time and im so happy. and he's here til tomorrow. party.
other people:
&i really do miss some of the old times. but unfortunatly looking back gets you no where. siiiigh.
&its really sad when you see someone trying too hard. stop it, it doesnt make a difference. people still are going to think of you the same. just be yourself.
&i dont care what people think anymore. say what you want to say.
&IM REALLY SICK OF MISERABLE PEOPLE. yeah i know that is totally hypocritical because yeah we all know i went through a few verrrry miserable and depressing seasons, but its over. im moving on. being sad sucks and im never doing it again. im taking control of my emotions again...FOR REAL THIS TIME.
BUT,
I LOVE BEST FRIENDS.
im finding happiness in things i never used to.
i havent felt like this since probably three years ago. its beautiful. and the beauty of it is mostly based on the fact that not many things in my life have changed to make me happier, I'VE changed to make me happier.
&this revoloution inside my head has made my life so much better.
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| .this song gives me the chills. |
[19 Mar 2005|04:02pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
weird |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
copeland |
] |
There's so many things I have to say
I'll stay up all night to hear about your day
We do the best we can in a small town
Act like kids in love when the sun goes down
If it's not too late for coffee
I'll be at your place in ten
We'll hit that all night diner
And then we'll see
There's a love that transcends
All that we've known of ourselves
And I'll wait for it to come
I'll wait for it to come
Well it's got to be strong to touch my heart
Through its shell
And I'll wait for it to come
I'll wait for it to come...
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